The Forgotten War: Researching Connections to the Korean War

As my husband and I have been watching M*A*S*H together on Netflix because I've never seen it, my thoughts have turned to my grandfather and the Korean War. Like most Americans, I know almost nothing about the Korean War. I've wanted to change that for a long time, but doing so poses some challenges I haven't known how to confront.

In addition to many Korean War era records being destroyed in a fire at the National Personal Records Center decades ago, many current privacy laws restrict me from requesting any information about my grandfather. He was discharged from the army on 9 December 1953, and the privacy laws mandate that his information will be restricted until 62 years past that date.

But in case you're just now joining me, you should know that that I'm incredibly lucky and the universe loves me to bits. When it comes to genealogy, I always seem to be the person who is descended from the group of people whose entire existence was erased, except for the one piece of information I needed.

And, as it turns out, my grandfather's service in the Korean War is no exception.

At 17, my grandfather Raymond Doyle joined the Army in 1947. He served for the duration of the Korean engagement, being discharged in December of 1953. Looking at his military headstone application and the Veteran's Affairs BIRLS index, that's all I would be able to gather. And I'm not sure I can expect much more from whatever the NPRC can give me.

But that's okay. Because even if they have nothing at all, I have an ace up my sleeve.

My grandmother knows I value old papers and photos, and gave me a huge haul of stuff right before I moved out west with my husband. Included in the swag was my grandfather's resume--a good portion of which lays out his military career.

Raymond Richard Doyle (Middle)
circa 1947-1953, Korean War

My grandfather seemed to understand that the military was a great place to get free training and education, and took advantage of every opportunity to better his prospects. He was trained at Fort Holabird, a counter-intelligence facility where he specialized in Industrial Security Management. He became an Administrative Specialist, eventually attaining the rank of Sergeant Major.

As a non-commissioned officer, I'm assuming he would have qualified for additional training opportunities while stationed overseas. Not only did he complete a leadership training course while in Tokyo, he also received a Certificate of Administration from Keio University in Japan. 

If these are the only facts I ever have to work with, I'm hoping they'll be enough to piece my grandfather's experience back together. And a great tool fill in the details are radio broadcasts from the early 1950's. These are available in great abundance on the Internet Archive. You can explore what they have generally via their Korean War, 1950-1953 subject tag. Some specific items include:

• Radio Broadcasts: see broadcast 68 and 69 on this list
• Books: What's Happening in Korea? by Richard Morris
• Photos: While the submitter of these photos is named as Margie Burke, the nurses are not named or labeled. If your relative was a nurse in the Korean War, checking for photos of Korean War nurses may help you to find photos you've never seen before
• Video: stock footage, home front reels, training reels
• Operation Guides: Specific to each branch of service. This guide outlines the operation and actions of the U.S. Marine Corp.

Researching Korean War veterans and their service isn't a popular pursuit, especially in comparison to other conflicts like the Civil War or World War I and II. This plays a large role in how the Korean War came to be known as the Forgotten War. As this generation of veterans continues to pass away, it's important to record and preserve their memories while they are still with us, and we can do so. Once they pass away, there may not be a second chance to obtain that information.

My grandfather died when I was 5, and I never got the chance to ask him about his military service. I think it's safe to say that it isn't possible to understand the civilian life of a veteran without understanding their military service. 

So, we wait; for answers to come, and privacy laws don't restrict those with the greatest right to know those stories. Because in a situation where I have no choice but to work without records, I can choose to proceed anyway with patience and determination. 

As genealogists, we always have that choice.

Doyle Family Migration

Raymond Richard Doyle

Raymond Richard Doyle

"He wouldn't eat breakfast until he was shaved. He was so clean."

Grandma Emily Michaels

Miracles

When I went into work yesterday, I expected it to be like every other day I have worked at the laundromat for the past 5 months. In fact, when my co-worker met me at the door and showed me the drop-off order that I needed to wash, dry, and fold, I wasn't really paying attention.

Until I saw the name on the ticket.

I recognized the name at once. It was the name of one of my father's half-sisters. My grandfather's daughter from his first marriage. Someone I have always wanted to talk to--but I have never met her personally. Just seen and heard her name a few rare times.

"She usually goes to the other laundromat," my co-worker told me. "Make sure you dry it well because last time she said they didn't smell clean."

"I think I'm related to her," I said, already gone to a different place altogether.

"Well, she wants a phone call when they're done," my co-worker instructed. She pulled her car around, loaded her sister's comforters up and left for the day.

I checked the washers with her laundry in them. The green displays read 13 minutes. I have never wanted a load of laundry to hurry up and finish so badly in all my life.

What was I going to say to her? How was I going to bring this up without sounding crazy? How do you just approach someone and say, "Hi, how are you? I just finished washing your laundry. Oh and by the way, I think we're related. Let's be friends."

I pull out my purple binder. I swear, ever since I bought the thing and started writing everything down, the flow of new information has been like a flood. I pull out my green pad of sticky notes and write down her name and phone number. I can't tell if I feel more like a detective or a stalker.

I swear, time moves more slowly when you have something important to do. I finally get her laundry folded and bagged, and it's the moment of truth. I pick up the work phone. I've died a thousand awkward deaths just in the time it takes for the dial tone to ring four times...

R-I-N-G...

Please let her be home...

R-I-N-G...

Hi is Mrs. T there? I'm with the laundromat and your clothes are ready to be picked up. Oh and this may seem like a weird question...

R-I-N-G...

Hello, Mrs. T? How are ya? This is Heather with the laundromat, and your laundry is ready for you. Also, I have a question. Is your father...

R-I-N-G...

"Hello?" a woman's voice answers.

Oh hang the laundry. Pun intended.

"Yes, it's OK if you pick it up next week, that's no problem," I say, that business taken care of at last. "Mrs. T, there's just one more thing, and I know it's going to seem like a strange question. Is your father..."

"Why yes, but how did you...?"

"Mrs. T, my name is Heather, and I think we're related."

And through a slow process of gradual recognition on her end and mine, she is able to guide herself to me by bringing up my father's name.

"Oh my gosh," she says. "I was there the night your father was killed..."

We both sit relishing in the pure serendipity of two strangers whose blood and circumstances have finally brought them together. I felt pure joy as I reached out for the first time to my father's family, and received a true spirit of kinship with someone living. I sensed in her a longing to know where our family comes from, and this I could easily give her. I needed someone to tell me the secrets that have gone unspoken for decades. She is in a unique position in which she not only knows the answers, but is willing to speak of them honestly and without embarrassment.

"You're old enough to know," she has decided.

I feel that a heavy confidence has been placed in me that I cannot fully appreciate now. Years of divine instruction on the healing power of forgiveness have been bringing me to this moment. I know it won't be easy for me to hear what she has to say. She tells me this herself.

But even if it hurts me, I have to know the truth.

We set a date to meet for the first time next Wednesday. She gives me her address. I will get the chance to meet with her, her sister, and their mother--my grandfather's first wife. There was something deliciously taboo about that last part. So many people and so much time have removed me from them because of what they know, who they are.

And just like that. Walls come down.

I hang up the phone and I'm in a dizzy state of euphoria. I'm frantically making plans for questions I need to ask, documents and charts I need to print, whether or not to bring my sister, what time I need to leave in case I need to put gas in the car.

In calmer moments, I simply thank God that He cares about our family even more than I do. I see His hands, careful and methodical, mending wounds generations wide--seen and unseen. Known and unknown. Those that have happened, and those yet to be.

Miracles are moments when "With love, from God" is written in invisible ink.

To me, that is a greater marvel--a more blessed miracle--than all the rest.

Gracelawn Memorial Park

Raymond R. Doyle
Click here to view on Find a Grave

Gracelawn Cemetry in New Castle County, Delaware

Buried in the Garden of the Last Supper section